Lets kill off the Super Mum tag

I've been called it, and I'm sure some of you have too - 'Super Mum'.  What a ridiculous saying.  What is a Super Mum exactly?  Presumably one who can leap tall buildings in a single bound - or run a loving household, hold down a job or study and volunteer at every opportunity and all with a smile on their face and a spring in their step?

I don't believe it.  I don't believe there is such a thing as a Super Mum and I don't believe that the people we have tagged in our communities as super mums need the tag hanging around their neck either.  I think tagging someone as a Super Mum, instantly takes away their ability to tell you what they're really going through, or what they're really feeling.  It puts pressure on them to always be as you have tagged them to be and this simply isn't fair.

At the time I was called this by a friend of mine, I had three children under 3 and a half years old, was studying a degree at Uni and on the kinder committee etc.  This may seem amazing, but let me tell you that it was damn hard work.  I was quite honestly living with depression, living one day at a time, trying to keep my study going and trying to give my kids what they needed also.  Luckily, I have a wonderful husband to support me and to say, just give it one more week every time I wanted to give up study.

On being called a Super Mum, I actually felt as though I had to uphold this image to this person, feeling even worse that I hadn't mopped my floor for goodness knows how long.  The sheets were on our beds too long, vomit was rubbed off the carpet with a dry towel and my house was a mess.  I'm not a Super Mum, and never will be.  I do my best and that just has to be enough.

So, I think that we all should approach our local so called 'Super Mum', and ask her if she needs help with anything.  Talk about how hard it is sometimes, invite her for a coffee and don't put any more pressure on her than she already has.

Bye for now.

Ash.

Welcome!

Hi, and welcome to my blog, Mothers, not Martyrs. 

Who am I?  My name is Ashley and I am a mother with a husband and three children who are now 6, 4 and 3 years old - all boys.  At the moment I have one in Prep at school, one at 4YO kinder and one at home (and childcare).

Why start a blog?  I get so frustrated when I hear mothers talk at my various mother-centric places (school, kinder, childcare, playgroup, shopping centres, local shops etc), and invariably saying how life's hard with young children.  Well I'm certainly not going to say that life is easy with young children - it's certainly the hardest thing I have done in my life to date.  What I am going to say is there are so many ways that mothers make life harder for themselves, and it doesn't have to be this way.  I'm here to share.  I would love to learn from and hear your ideas and comments too - so bring it on!

What will you see on this blog?  Well, some home truths (no beating around the bush), some helpful suggestions to make your life a little easier with kids, and hopefully a bit of humour thrown in for good measure, some interesting activities to do with kids that are cheap or free and fun for everyone, and maybe even some asking for help if I have a problem too.

So, come on a journey with me through motherhood and give yourself a break once in a while!